Forever Ibtesam.

Jul 13

Personhood.

I get it. It’s exhausting. I know. But, see it from my perspective. Take a walk through my mind. Do you see it now? The repetition? The confusion? I ask myself everyday. I do. Why relive it? Isn’t it time to let go? But how? That is the biggest question of all. How? I’m tired of all of this myself. Wish I could escape it all. Truly, I do. It’s hard though. It’s like a film strip with a glitch - constantly running through my mind, over and over again. Repeating itself. Day and night. Night and day. There it goes. The same thoughts. The same memories. The same moments. My only hope is that freedom is approaching. It’s okay if these memories stay. I have to acknowledge and remember that this happened. And it is wonderful. I mean, it was wonderful.  But I need to be free from this constant reminder of the way things were. Free from the clutches of these thoughts. Freedom. That’s all I can hope for. AYN.

Jul 13
Free
Jul 10

Ugh. Um. Perfect. I’ll break up over and over again just for this song. Well, maybe.

Jul 3

"When I was younger, I basically thought women wore makeup for men, which speaks to a sick and very deep part of the patriarchy in which men imagine that women orient themselves toward attracting men instead of having like having meaning and pleasure in inside their own lives which has nothing to do with dudes." - John Green

Growing old sounds painful. Never has a day passed by where my mother has not complained about an ache or a pain. Ouch. Ugh. Sigh. What are these bodies that we are given? Perfect and solid in appearance, but so frail and weak in truth. Naive are we to the true realities of ourselves. Little do we know of what is to come. We truly feel indestructible to anything and everything. I can attest to that. But oh, how mistaken are we? These bones and muscles that keep us aligned are so in trouble. For the years that come welcome change. A change that happens so unknowingly. Decay. The fall is truly imminent. There it is. Our weakening. Almost here. AYN.

Jun 30
Decaying Bodies